Category Archives: disappointment

Tapping the Spine

Posted on October 13, 2011 by Randy

In my mind I can not think of a spinal tap with out thinking of ouroboros. It not just that they are removing these primal fluids from your back, which I think of as akin to embryonic fluid, its that … Continue reading →

Posted in disappointment, i want to live, lupus | Tagged , , , , , | 3 Comments

A Spectacularly Piss Poor Day

Posted on October 4, 2011 by Randy

So last Monday I called my doctor. Yep that is all it took to make my day totally, utterly crap. He confirmed exactly what had been suspected: I do in fact have cancer. My journey to Laos the night before, … Continue reading →

Posted in disappointment, i want to live | Tagged , , | 1 Comment

The Big C?

Posted on September 19, 2011 by Randy

Getting the News: In his Thai inflected English, he said, “it looks an feel cancer.” as he pinched the ping pong ball sized growth under my right arm. It hurt and brought tears to my eyes as he squeezed it. … Continue reading →

Posted in disappointment, i want to live, rumination | Tagged , , , , | 4 Comments

Remission, Just a Fools Game, part 3

Posted on August 21, 2011 by Randy

Part 1 Part 2 After spending a whole day bemoaning the return of unwanted interbody hostilities, where I rejected even the most basic notion of getting out of bed, I used Friday to find some sort of escape for the … Continue reading →

Posted in disappointment, lupus | Tagged , , , | 3 Comments

Remission, Just a Fools Game, part 2

Posted on August 20, 2011 by Randy

Part 1 Like being stuck watching an awful sequel to a movie that you never even wanted to see in the first place, my Lupus is back. I got the news late last Wednesday night. And after five days of … Continue reading →

Posted in disappointment, lupus | Tagged , , , , | 1 Comment

Remission, Just a Fools Game, part 1

Posted on August 19, 2011 by Randy

There is a song, that I am sure most of you have heard, by Bonnie Tyler called It’s a Heartache. I feel these lyrics infinitely capture my last week: “It’s a heartache/Nothing but a heartache/Hits you when it’s too late/Hits … Continue reading →

Posted in disappointment, lupus | Tagged , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

Rescuing a Heart Dismissed

Posted on August 4, 2011 by Randy

One year ago today I met Gaby, the love of my life. We went to see the amazing film Orlando then walked clear across Manhattan talking, getting to know each other. As fates had it, we took the subway to … Continue reading →

Posted in disappointment | Tagged , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

Why Does India Want Me to Smell and Look like an Asshole?

Posted on April 26, 2011 by Randy

Something horrible happened last week. It was a very, very terrible, sad day. I did something that I promised myself I would never, ever do. Yes, I bought a pair of Crocs — well an off brand that has no … Continue reading →

Posted in disappointment, things I've learned, travel | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

No More Street Food, No More Street Food…

Posted on December 18, 2010 by Randy

I am not sure why I thought I could avoid the dreaded Indian food poisoning that befalls most travelers here. They say there is quite different flora & fauna in the water here that drastically can effect the digestive track. … Continue reading →

Posted in disappointment, travel | 1 Comment

Disappointment, Part 2

Posted on December 6, 2010 by Randy

So I have been quiet over here for a while. Mainly due to hitting a major snag in my departure plan. I failed to get the correct visa to travel to India in time for my already purchased flight. Yeah, … Continue reading →

Posted in disappointment, travel | 4 Comments