A Very Good Friday

I had no idea Easter was happening until I saw someone on twitter post about it being Good Friday. Honestly, one of my favorite things about being in Asia is that I am pretty much able to avoid Christan holidays, even thinking about them. I wish the same could be said for when I lived in America. But there, no matter one’s faith, or lack of, one is inundated by happy this and merry that making sure you remember that Christianity is in charge.

Well, I have to say for once I had a very good Good Friday, but it had nothing to do with its traditional religious origins. In fact I would say I had a Great Friday.

I got my blood results back. My GFR numbers have stayed level from the uptick they had from my hyperbaric chamber adventure. The shift was not a false positive.

Let me repeat that.
It.
Was.
Not.
A.
False.
Positive.
The sessions did in fact improve the health of my kidneys.

I really can not convey just how amazing this is. Nor how much joy this fills me with.

I remember so vividly being told this was utterly impossible on June 22nd, the day I got my original diagnosis. That the numbers would only go down. Could only go down.

The despondency I felt that day was overwhelming. I just looked at an email I sent to many friends about that day and it amazes me that I even got out of bed the next day. I remember sitting with some friends in the backyard of a bar in my neighborhood, breaking down telling them what had occurred. I also remember just having to get up and leaving as i knew dealing with this would best be done under a blanket without any compunction to hold back the tears.

The hope I feel today, as I make more plans to continue the hyperbaric ride, is equally overwhelming. Only this is a rocket booster type of emotional high that I can assure you I never thought I would feel again that June day, nearly one year ago. I honestly did not think I would feel it two months ago, when I first got the positive results. I wanted it. Craved it. But I just could not believe. It seemed far too much like some fantastical story out of a comic book.

But here it is in all its four color glory.

And to think, I never would have investigated this type of treatment if my favorite random San Franciscan, The Oracle of MUNI, had not made a random bus ride my most important public transit ride ever. Like Sarah Manguso before her and her amazing book The Two Kinds of Decay, which allowed me to finally see the potential benefit in chemo, a person wholly unknown to me has changed my life for the better.

I was able to go see Sarah Manguso at a reading shortly after my life changed for the better two years ago due to her unknown encouragement. I tried to thank her for providing me with the strength to do the hardest thing I ever did in my life, but many only tears and blather came out. She signed my book “To a fellow Traveler,” and I think she understands how important she was to me choosing to live. I hope she was able to understand it anyway.

Now I want to find The Oracle of MUNI and thank her. Let her know how much her words have meant to me. Only, finding her would be far harder than Ms Manguso. But when will I next be in the bay area to start this search?

Hmmm…. Perhaps there will be another good Friday where I can start my search.

About Randy

I'm just a guy trying to out run his dying kidneys and live life as vibrantly as possible. Until I can't. I grew up in Tejas. Went to school in Vermont. And currently live in Brooklyn. But not for long....
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